READ THE INSIDE OF MY LIPS

i have been expecting a letter for three years. that a telephone would ring, or that someone would break down the door. explain what has transpired. today, on the hottest day of the year, a card arrives: "seasonal greetings to you and your family, merry christmas and a happy new year!" it is the first of october. my heart tastes of marzipan. the swans let go of their buds, all at once. i watch them trickle uselessly towards a depression in the middle of the floor. towards the stalls. in line, like black or dark berries on a straw. the postman approaches the jukebox a third time. picking songs exclusively at a very high decibel level. whole lotta rosie is played twice. it is impossible to determine whether or not he is improvising or actually knows the lyrics to the different songs. singing swans. bull frogs skipping the counter.  mermaids. eye lids like juicy scrolls. a tattoo reads: "carpe noctem". it's christmas time again. i am close to finding you.