NDRSTNDNG NTHNGNSS AS BRDM


un-accidental/ bugs are self-injecting poisonous retorts/ leaving their shells to dry in the sun/ self-hypnotised/ then hoovered into space/ by the single breath of a stealth god/ bug god/ trying to exit itself too/ by re-entering a surprising entity/ causing a stir/ by mere apparition/ then blaming other forces, saying:/ i burn without guilt/ oh yes, the first movement was mine/ but when we danced you insisted on taking the lead/

  first through worship/

  then through dependency/

and now you turn away/ and want to condemn me/ for having drawn my breath a single time/

  the paradise boys are peeping through the shutters/

  the paradise girls are glancing into a made up distance/

who shall care as i grow older/ guide me down the stairs in the midst of night/ ease my worries as i draw towards an end/ as the light that is my own/ becomes a dampened glow in a municipal corridor/ in a house undiscovered/ who shall dare to remain/ and recite elegies to celebrate my originality/ and selflessness/ honor my memory with select words to accompany the cries/ as my coffin, if it will exist/ is lowered into the dirt, if it will exist/ to be covered with more dirt - undeniably non-existenst -/ as the sorrow, if it can exist/ springs out like a flower/ near a tombstone that is my own, if it can exist/ still warm inside an icecube of used-to-be/ who shall tell me of gods/ sacrifice and piety/ and forgiveness/

  my body/

  my body/

  the hot sands/

  the paradise boys are doubting their second chance/

  the paradise girls are moving out/